Nap Time

I spent last evening doing exactly what I should have been doing.  I went to church.  Now occasionally I have been known to nod off in the service, and I really don't know why.  The preacher is plenty loud enough, the seats are very uncomfortable, and his fire and brimstone messages usually leave me sweating bullets, and pretty convinced that he spent the entire week following me around taking notes on all the things I had done wrong, and then he prepared his sermon accordingly just so he can step on my toes.  Most of the time he doesn't just step on my toes he walks all over the whole foot.

This service was just a little different in that most of the evening was filled with interuptions from the younger generation.  I had to laugh when one of the mothers was doing her best to keep a young man quite.  She ask him to calm down a couple of times and finally took him by the arm and was leading him out and, I'm simply guessing but to adjust his attitude.  As he was being led down the aisle he turned and shouted through his tears "PRAY FOR ME PREACHER".  Another young man in front of me kept being pretty loud and after his mom had ask him a couple times to be quite, she looked at him and said, "Do you know why we need to be quite in church?"  The little lad looked like he had the answer to the million dollar question.  "I SURE DO" He yelled "THERE ARE PEOPLE SLEEPNG, AND WE DONT WANT TO WAKE THEM."  For some reason the little fellar turned and looked right at me when he said it.  I liked that little guy right up until that point.  For the rest of the evening he would turn and point at me and smile and laugh.  Now I am not sure but I believe this little guy was going to grow up to be a man of the cloth.  He made me sweat in church just like the preacher did.

By the time I got home last night, I was pretty much devastated.  My self esteem had been destroyed by a 5 yr old future preacher.  All I could do was just sit down on the couch, the one out in the yard by the road, and think about my life.  While thinking, I realized there were a lot of things I needed to do  that quite possibly could help raise my self esteem.  I needed to get a new brush and a can of paint that is close to the same color as my truck and paint over the rust on the hood and fender.  It would make the truck look better and I'm sure me fell better.  I need to get the lawnmower out from under the porch and find the other wheel that came off, get the wheel back on and find the gas can, so that the wife can go get gas and then mow the yard.  I need to go and borrow a ladder so she can clean out the gutters and fix that whole in the roof.  She sure is a handy woman.  I wish I knew how to do all that stuff, but I guess there is no need in both of us knowing how.  She might even feel unloved and unwanted if I chipped in and helped out.  I went out and bought her a new bassboat to show her how much I love and I appreciate her.  I really didn't know she didn't like to fish before I bought it, but she knows it's the thought that counts.

After a few minutes of making a list and finding out all the things that needed to be done,  I decided to take the advice of one of my great ancestors. "Why do today what you can put off until next week".  And that seemed like a very good idea after all I was exhausted, I had missed my nap in church. 

Terry Wooley

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